just a bum

I was listening to an older Greg Brown CD the other day and I suddenly had a moment of clarity.

The song, "Just a Bum," speaks to a fear that all Americans seem to have (and that I am working on coming to terms with).

I saw a man, he's a well-dressed man
He had a tan from the Yucatan
He had a car, he looked like a star
I said, Hey, don't I know who you are
But when he glanced into my eyes
I saw yes I saw was such a big surprise
He was afraid that he's just a bum
Someday when all his stuff is gone and he's left without a dime
Time ain't money when all ya got is time
And you can see him standin on the corner with a nine-day beard and bright red eyes

I know a guy, he's a pal of mine
I say, hey. He say, I'm doin fine
I'm movin up the ladder, rung rung rung
I'm gonna get my million while I am still young
But at night when he's had a few
His eyes say different than his tongue
They say I'm afraid that I'm just a bum
Someday when all my stuff is gone and I'm left without a dime
Time ain't money when all ya got is time
And I can see me standin on the corner with my nine-day beard and my bright red eyes
Goin hey, hey hey hey hey, come on and listen to my story, hey, hey hey hey hey, ah hey

Some people live to work, work to live
Any little tremble and the earth might give
Ya can't hide it in a Volvo or a London Fog
Can't hide it in a mansion with an imported dog
No matter how we plan and rehearse, we're at pink slip's mercy in a paper universe
And we're afraid that we're just a bum
Someday when all our stuff is gone and we're left without a dime
Time ain't money when all ya got is time
And we can see us standin on the corner with our nine-day beards and our bright red eyes
Goin, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey, come on and listen to my story man hey, hey hey hey hey, ah hey

The man of sorrow's acquainted with grief
Stands in line waiting for relief
He will tell ya it wasn't always this way
One bad little thing happened one bad little day
Heartbreak has bad teeth and a sour smell and lives when he can in a cheap hotel
And he's afraid that he's just a bum
Someday when all his stuff is gone and he's left without a dime
Time ain't money when all ya got is time
And you can see him standin on the corner with a nine-day beard and bright red eyes
Goin, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey, come on and listen to my story man hey, hey hey hey hey, ah hey

Yes, it is a point of uncertainty/fear for me that I will be nothing if I don't have posessions, a job, a fast paced life. But, listening to the song agian recently reminded me that I have a LOT of what is most important...friends - and each of them are very dear to me. Even if I had nothing else, I would still have love. Now I feel more like I can relax!

(how cheesy does that sound?)

shuffling along

The beauty of the iPod shuffle is that songs come to you in a random order. We all know this. Today I was blessed with this song.
Anyone who has listened to Sweet Honey in the Rock can either imagine or hear the strength with which they sing this song. I've been listening this song ever since my mother bought the "Live at Carnegie Hall" album when I was a kid. The whole thing is great..I feel blessed to have been confronted with this type of awareness so early in life. There's a feeling of helplessness that comes over me each time I hear it. Helpless, as in I'm not helping solve the problem. My eyes well up every time I hear this song. It haunts me...my hands are most certainly not clean.

Are My Hands Clean?

I wear garments touched by hands from all over the world
35% cotton, 6% polyester, the journey begins in Central America
In the cotton fields of El Salvador
In a province soaked in blood,
Pesticide-sprayed workers toil in a broiling sun
Pulling cotton for two dollars a day.

Then we move on up to another rung - Cargill -
A top-forty trading conglomerate, takes
the cotton through the Panama Canal
Up the Eastern seaboard, coming to the US of A for the first time
In South Carolina At the Burlington mills
Joins a shipment of polyester filament courtesy
of the New Jersey petro-chemical mills of Dupont
Dupont strands of filament begin in the South American country of Venezuela
Where oil riggers bring up oil from the earth for six dollars a day

Then Exxon, largest oil company in the world,
Upgrades the product in the country of Trinidad and Tobago
Then back into the Caribbean and Atlantic Seas
To the factories of Dupont
On the way to the Burlington mills
In South Carolina
To meet the cotton from the blood-soaked fields of El Salvador

In South Carolina
Burlington factories hum with the business of weaving oil and cotton into miles of fabric for Sears
Who takes this bounty back into the Caribbean Sea
Headed for Haiti this time -
May she be one day soon free -
Far from the Port-au-Prince palace
Third world women toil doing piece work to Sears specifications
For three dollars a day
my sisters make my blouse

It leaves the third world for the last time
Coming back into the sea to be sealed in plastic for me
This third world sister
And I go to the Sears department store where I buy my blouse
On sale for 20% discount
"Are my hands clean?”